idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
