I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
