Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize