I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
