drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That reminds me...we need to get swords
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize