i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
