just tell him i said nine months
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
