You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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