I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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