He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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