So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize