That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
