white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize