If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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