you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize