i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just google imaged poop.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
