I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
