I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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