i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
