Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize