Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
