we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
