I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
