is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
