he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
