my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
