Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize