woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is Oprah even human
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
