I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize