Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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