dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize