omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
