I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
