well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
