So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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