I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
