is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm passing your future prison.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
