I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
