How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
