I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
