i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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