I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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