please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
