just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
