Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
