people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize