at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
