ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Buhtt sex?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
