So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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