I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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