i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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