I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
