goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
