Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
