Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
