Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
