Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
