my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
