Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize