i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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